Ever Experience Imposter Syndrome?
Have you ever felt that your professional success is because of luck or other external factors? Maybe some kind of a mistake? That you didn’t deserve your grades, that promotion, or a higher compensation for your work?
Imposter Syndrome basically comes down to feeling like a fraud, that everything you have done is not true. You may have a successful business, many degrees, an outstanding career ... but you still live with a thought that all you have isn't really "you". During our #CollaborativeCoffee session in March, Dr. Carol told us how to break that feeling and shared a few tips:
We often point to ‘luck’ or ‘timing’ but all successes are ours and we need to own those feelings and stop telling ourselves anything else. Remember - all successes are based on you! You have had help along the way - and that should be celebrated, not considered a flaw.
Drop all ideas of perfectionism - this only sets us up for failure. Progress is better than perfection. Perfectionism is not your friend; it will only hold you back. Focus on doing things well and not perfect. Focus on learning from the work you’ve done and pay less attention to others and the ideals of what perfection is.
Think about every situation from the positive. One good way to do this is to end the day writing a list of your accomplishments or learnings from that day. Daily gratitudes are also really helpful. Some like to start the day with what they are grateful for while others like to end the day with them.
Don’t compare yourself to others. Don't look to your left or what is on your right - look straight ahead at your true north. We are all different with different talents and skills.
Negative self talk isn’t helpful. When those feelings come in, acknowledge them and then release them. You can politely (or not) tell that negative voice that the commentary or feeling doesn’t serve you and think about a positive thought that can replace the negative one. Movement is also a good way to get your mind away from negativity - yoga, journaling, a walk around the block, a long run… take yourself out of your current environment into another setting.
Failure can be a good thing. Remember that failure is a step in learning; it’s the way we become resilient. Look at what you’ve learned as simply being on the right path to where you are going. No one and nothing is perfect so don’t think that you need to be.
Give yourself positive feedback, celebrate your accomplishments - there are many of them to celebrate! Do this especially after a difficult conversation or situation.
Time might simply be what's needed to change your perspective and bring back the positive feelings you need. So sometimes the best thing you can do is remove yourself from the situation for a couple of days.
Use forums like the #CollaborativeCoffee and other support groups to discuss and share. Lean on others - people are here to help so invite them in.
Share with us your thoughts about Imposter Syndrome and we will send you a free Imposter Syndrome checklist!
